Monday, March 13, 2017

I Got A Man (He's Not Tryin To Hear That)

So I was in a 90's music video this morning. Well, it pretty much felt like it.

We have a breakfast/brunch spot that we frequent on our solo weekends, and often during the week, on my days off, I will take my laptop there and write. I tend to focus better outside of the house.

So there's this creeper of a server at this restaurant. You ladies know what I'm talking about; a guy that throws out the vibe that he's oh so into you but doesn't want to say so outright.

I've noticed several times that he's waited on us; he'll only make eye contact with me when we order; even if my husband is saying something-- dude is answering to me.

He's just SO NICE and trying to act like he's just that cool guy.

It ANNOYS me, but he hasn't said anything wrong so I brush it off.

We were there yesterday; dude saw me with my husband. I kept hoping we would NOT get him as a server and thankfully, we got a lady south of seventy. I was more than happy with Fran, Fran looked more likely to hit on my husband, to my great relief.



Today I went in to do some writing and my heart sank when I saw so cool guy was one of the only servers on a slower Monday morning. Thankfully, a serve who appeared to be a relative of Fran, let's say Nan, swooped me up into a booth.

I got Nan.

And breathed a sigh of relief that I'd be able to write without being ANNOYED.

Now, I get that it sounds stupid that I'm annoyed that someone attempts to flirt with me. But that's beside the point.

He knows that I am married. He sees me with my husband. I wear a ring.


Today, he was overt. And I got mad.

Nan had taken my order, and this guy was walking down the aisle where my table was. Another server, let's say Gertie, strolled by at the same time. Dude says, as he's walking by my table, "Hi beautiful!" and though I KNOW KNOW KNOW he wasn't talking to Gertie, I pretend he was and ignore his nonsense.


Those diamonds that the sun is bouncing off of on my left ring finger?


I think he felt stupid because he didn't come around for a good twenty minutes. I was seething a little, though.

It's NOT insulting to be called beautiful.

But it IS insulting when the one saying it knows full well that you are very much married.

Funny, he has NEVER said such a thing in the presence of my husband. EVER. What exactly is your end game Dude, because you're obviously seeking my attention?

A few minutes later, he comes around again, stops at my table. Leans over and says, "You're so pretty. I like your outfit today!"

I look down. I take in my blue and white striped loose Old Navy t-shirt and the distressed jeans and flip flops that I'm wearing. An outfit that shouts nondescript and "Hey it's Monday and I just dropped my kids off at school". Also, I didn't even brush my hair. So let's back it up right now, Mister. My outfit says "go ahead and leave me be" and  NOT, "HEY, THE HUSBAND IS AT WORK SO START DROPPIN' SOME COMPLIMENTS BECAUSE I'M JUST A FEMALE WHO CAN'T THINK FOR MYSELF AND I AM JUST SO DESPERATE FOR MALE ATTENTION THAT I NEED THE ******** SERVER TO MAKE MY DAY."

Think about it. Think how disrespectful and dishonoring it is to KNOW someone is taken, but to wait until she's alone to say something to her.

So, Dude, I realize there are women out there who won't say no to whatever man throws them attention, but I'm not going to be one of them.

I texted my husband the story and told him we'd be going to a different location from now on, because if Dude is going to make it weird and be disrespectful of someone married, then we'll go somewhere else.

There's a big difference between just telling someone they're attractive and waiting until someone's spouse isn't present to make more than one attempt to flatter and flirt with them.

No Thanks, Server Dude.

I didn't even stay to write. I left, and shook my head as I drove home.

It dawned on me that this was the exact issue in that piece of music excellence from 1992, by the infamous Positive K. (I know, I didn't even know who did this song nor what he's done since, IF ANYTHING, but I sure knew this song).

I'm happy with the man who will probably still call me beautiful when I round 50 and 60 and 70 and 80....and that's the only man whose opinion of me matters.

Take heed, Server Dude.

I GOT A MAN.  <-----------you're welcome that this will be stuck in your head.


  1. I think you should go back often. Get hubby to make out with you in the booth. Like go all 16 yr old in the corner booth. And make sure to ask for him as your server. Maybe even thank him for the compliments the other day when you were without your hubby, with your arm around hubby at the same time. :) or not, just a suggestion.

  2. I will be doing this. Bonus that it will embarrass the hubby. 😁