Tuesday, January 31, 2017

What Does Your Inner Mean Girl Think? A Discussion On The Imp of the Perverse.

Recently, my BFF introduced me to a morose poem by Edgar Allan Poe, The Imp of the Perverse, and the concept surrounding it.

Have ya'll heard of it? It's a heavy read, a short story that dates back to the early 19th century. The premise is intense, chock full of words I had to look up to make it through some sentences. But it shines a light on something that we all possess, but still aren't real keen on sharing with others,

so they don't think we're nutty nuts.

Except we all pretty much are.

See, it talks about what I envision to be this guy:

He's weird. Basically, he likes to throw really weird shit into our brains at really uncool moments.
He's the Imp of the Perverse.

As Poe put it:

"We stand upon the brink of a precipice. We peer into the abyss—we grow sick and dizzy. Our first impulse is to shrink away from the danger. Unaccountably we remain... it is but a thought, although a fearful one, and one which chills the very marrow of our bones with the fierceness of the delight of its horror. It is merely the idea of what would be our sensations during the sweeping precipitancy of a fall from such a height... for this very cause do we now the most vividly desire it."

It's that weird feeling when you're doing something and just have some horrifying thought pop into your head. For instance, last summer we took my in-laws to visit the Grand Canyon. We're standing on the rim peering out into one of the great Wonders of the World, people are gasping at the majesty of the canyon, absorbing it's beauty, feeling small in it's grandiosity.


I'm standing there thinking--"What if I just went like..." :

And then I proceeded to envision my massively badass but life-ending fall into the abyss of the mighty canyon. My brain clanged as loudly as I thought, "Just one little step and....." 

And that's all that holds us back. That great restrainer inside that keeps us from being complete morons (though some didn't quite inherit that part). 

What the hell is that about?

Supposedly, it's something we all possess.

I mean, are you ever sitting in a meeting and suddenly you want to just jump on the table and scream,  "I hate donkeys!" and then sit back down, satisfied that you'd just disrupted everyone's afternoon?

Ok, maybe not exactly your intense hatred of donkeys (if you want to know why I hate them, listen to my podcast), but something similar. "Kumquats are tasty!" just to watch the perplexed and uncomfortable faces who are staring you down wondering when you contracted Tourette syndrome.

The Imp of the Perverse is THAT THING. Explained another way, it's  "the urge to do exactly the wrong thing in a given situation for the sole reason that it is possible for wrong to be done. The impulse is compared to an imp which leads an otherwise decent person into mischief". (from the always accurate files of Wikipedia).

Mischief. Now that's a word I enjoy. I love myself some mischief.

So, my friends, exactly how perverse is YOUR imp?

Mine's a jerk.

Mine makes me want to walk into a Victoria's Secret, to their biggest, most perfectly laid out panty display, and begin flinging and flipping them everywhere until there's a gigantic mess and someone has to clean it up.
I have not done that thing.

Mine makes me wonder what would happen if I drove with my eyes closed.
I also do not do that thing. 

Mine makes me wonder how bad the injury would REALLY be if I got over my terror over the garbage disposal and let it take a little whir on my fingers?
I have all appendages currently. 

Mine makes me meet someone who I instantly don't like all that much, and then throws in the urge to say, "I think you need botox" or "It's unfortunate your parents didn't use a condom", which I force myself to NOT SAY.
I've said some regrettable things. But hopefully they all hit the target or were at least amusing. To me.

All the things that are not so nice to think or say or do, that's your imp/jerk.

Have you ever been in close proximity to someone, maybe someone you don't even know and have no reason to dislike, and for NO reason at all, just thought:

Like, just haul off and pop them in the nose, just for the sound it makes or to see their "What the HELL?!" face? Or sometimes it's someone who grates on you. That preacher that leans in too close with their coffee breath. That coworker who is the bane of your existence. Just POP! One little right jab, making your entire day and not so much theirs. 

You just totally pictured someone, and I love it. Own that jerkface voice and the sheer restraint it takes to NOT say or do every stupid, stupid thought that pops into your head! You're winning at life! This, my friend, is what separates you from being one of Bobby Berosini's famed orangutans or a pygmy goat!

I seriously have to bite my tongue until it almost comes off sometimes. Until I'm tasting blood in my mouth and shivering with the anticipation of blurting out something inappropriate or dastardly. Especially if it's someone who has committed any wrongs against me. Because I don't like you.

I mean, do you have ANY idea how difficult it is to be around the person who I dislike The Most and not shout at them every single time:

Who recommended those to you?

Are Krusty or Bozo or Pennywise your personal shoppers? FIRE THEM." 

For real, though. They're a menace to society all on their own. 

So then.  What are the things/thoughts that that little jerk running laps around your cranium throws at you?

Whatever they are, Don't Do Them. (Unless you're willing to confront the clown pants and save us all). 

And if you'd like a brain cramp, you can read The Imp of the Perverse HERE.

Hey, learn something new every day, right? 

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Who Knew National Spouses Day Was A Thing?

I know I am usually write-happy, but for today, I want to let the pictures do the talking. Because today is National Spouses Day! 

It means something to me, to us, Mr. and Mrs. V, because we fought to get here. We are blessed to be free from the mistakes of our pasts and our grateful beyond all else that we've found The One.

To me, National Spouse's Day is a celebration of the person who shares every aspect of your life with you. My husband knows me in ways no one else does. He has loved me like I've never been loved. We are best friends and know that it was US from the beginning, no matter the treacherous road we took to get there. Today I just want to celebrate some of those selfies we've taken, bits and pieces of the celebration of our union, friendship and love.

Happy National Spouses Day!

I remember every single memory for these. And I love that!

Our first trip together, visiting the Reagan Museum, May, 2014

A special dinner at Famous Dave's, August 2014. Making plans. :) 

Our first college football Saturday, August 2014

A horse drawn carriage ride in Scottsdale, early 2015 

I said YES in Panama City Beach, Florida

Date Night at the movies in Scottsdale, December 2016

Disneyland, January 2017

Prescott snowbunnies, January 2017

Snowy Kisses, January 2017

He wanted a sports girl. The first time he took a girl to a Florida State baseball game. (Also, I was pregnant and would find out two days later!) February 2016

He healed my heart at Clearwater Beach, FL in February 2016

Celebrating our first anniversary at our first date restaurant, Olive & Ivy

Our typical weekend fun at our breakfast spot, First Watch, September 2016

Mother's Day with my very favorites! 2016

Taking aim at Ben Avery Shooting Range, Summer 2016

He flew up to meet me in Chicago when my grandmother passed away. Breakfast at Butterfield's in Naperville, June 2016

Frolicking on the beaches of Malibu, CA, July 2016

More love in Malibu, July 2016

Grand Canyon with my in-loves, July 2016

He surprised me with a trip to Houston when both my Cubs AND my Bears were in town. We saw both games and met the Houston Texans. I was pregnant here AGAIN! 
September 2016

Gametime ready in Houston, September 2016

At the Bears game in Houston! September 2016

FSU vs. Notre Dame, Tallahassee, FL. October 2014

Hiking Thumb Butte in Prescott, AZ. August, 2015

Flying to Atlanta to see the Georgia Bulldogs and visit the Walking Dead set, September 2015

Disneyland, October 2015

Garth Brooks concert (BEST CONCERT EVER!) October 2015

Him: Batdad. Me: Maleficent. Halloween 2015

Walking the Golden Gate Bridge, November 2015

New Years house party, 2015/2016

My 40th Birthday in Disneyland, January 2016

40 year old in a tiara feeling like a princess on her birthday, January 2016

Honeymooning in Disneyworld, Orlando, March 2015

Best Day Ever. March 2015

The day we got our house! February 2015

Flying to Birmingham, AL May, 2015

Aerosmith concert! June 2015

My 39th Birthday, January 2015

Darius Rucker concert at the Phoenix Open, February 2015

Our Very Married Hands :) March, 2015

Yep, we went to Chipotle in our wedding attire. We never got to eat at the wedding!
March 2015

This Moment. 

Honeymoon, Day 1! March 2015

Dinner at California Grille, top of our Contemporary Resort in Disneyworld
Honeymoon, 2015

Our FIRST posted picture together, making it official. May, 2014

Thanks for checking out the Story of Us, ya'll. It's been a magical three years, with a lifetime to go. 
Happy Spouse's Day, my Mr. Ventry.