Thursday, July 9, 2015

33 Signs You Were An Early 90's High School Girl

  1. You smelled like Exclamation and your boyfriend smelled like Drakkar.
  2. You wore overalls. With one shoulder strap. Over a sweater.
  3. You thought your new perm and your curled, teased and Rave level 4 bangs were hot.
  4. Janet Jackson made you realize your female power when you saw her video for "If". And you started doing 5000 crunches a day. It lasted two days.
  5. You bought your first CD. And player.
  6. You were rad if you had a mounted Discman in your car that had a cassette adapter and skipped when you hit bumps- but you didn't let it spoil your game while listening to Duran Duran.
  7. You had a gigantic bow on every formal and semi formal dress you wore to any fancy dance. Ever.
  8. Your hair was in a banana clip for prom.
  9. You had Marky Mark in his underwear plastered to your wall.
  10. Your Z Cavaricci jeans were acid washed and had a zipper on the ankle.
  11. You wore guess jeans with the tight rolled up cuff together with your Keds.
  12. You learned that wearing onesie bodysuits, while stylish, gave you self-induced atomic wedgies.
  13. You had a phone you could see through.
  14. And you would stare at it waiting for "his" call and threatened anyone who touched any phone in the house with certain death. If your grandmother called, you knew you were screwed.
  15. Because, scrunchies.
  16. You were the Today Sponge generation and felt lost when they were discontinued.
  17. You figured out how to spell "hello" on your pager and your friend was impressed. You were the first texters.
  18. You read Sassy magazine.
  19. You didn't have the Internet in your house, and frankly, you didn't care, because you weren't entirely sure what it was or what it did, only that Al Gore had invented it.
  20. Your Google was an encyclopedia and a card catalog. You weren't sure who Dewey Decimal was, but you knew you didn't care for his system.
  21. Your parents couldn't text you at all and couldn't call you unless you happened to be at your
    friends house, where you said you would be (but usually weren't). You only hoped your friends mom was one of the "cool" ones that would cover for you if your parents called and you were actually making out with your boyfriend somewhere.
  22. When your boyfriend gave you a mix tape with "I Wanna Sex You Up" and "Baby Got Back", you had to hide it from your parents and listen under the covers with your Walkman.
  23. A school dance was never complete without both a Def Leppard and a Richard Marx song.
  24. You got detention for passing notes.
  25. Some gross guy used your Hypercolor shirt as an excuse to touch you.
  26. And when he told you he had a crush on you, your response was "As if!"
  27. "End Of The Road " by Boys II Men was your breakup song. Every time.
  28. You bought a Joey Lawrence album.
  29. Your best friend vowed if you were ever raped, she would go on a crime spree with you and drive you both off a cliff.
  30. You just wanted your boyfriend to meet you at the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day.
  31. You wanted to be Kelly Taylor and attend West Beverly and date Dylan. And Brandon. And then Dylan. And have Steve as your ex.
  32. You took your Caboodles to slumber parties.
You practically grew up with Kevin Arnold and hoped you would become someone's Winnie Cooper.